Electric Relaxation

Sneakers are hard, especially for someone who prides themselves on being too cool for school. With everyone on planet earth seemingly frothing over the next sneaker release every weekend I’ve found myself recoiling into the corner like a hermit outside for the first time in a decade. Whilst quivering in the foetal position it gives one time to reflect on their thoughts and choices up to this point. I don’t really care about that though so I just end up buying random shit that I’ll either never open or wear once and then stick at the back of the closet.


Such things that qualify perfectly are a Pigalle bathrobe that’s currently at Vfiles* and would undoubtably be Cam’ron approved. I feel as if wearing this with normal clothes would elevate you into a stratosphere of awesomeness that not many could achieve. Most likely you’ll come off looking like someone who’s gotten lost on their way to a Big Lebowski themed party (at best) or a mental patient who has somehow escaped the local rehabilitation retreat. I will say that wearing the complete  matching set of attire isn’t going to help your case, instead you’ll just come across as that guy who actually wears the useless SWAG** from whatever trade convention everyone else also attended.

*Special mention to my mate Chris who recently took up residency at Vfiles, ready to create subliminal phallic messages on clothing for celebrities and fashion slaves

**It stands for Stuff We All Get fools, if you don’t get that you should watch The Office (US series) in full at least 4 times like you should


Similarly difficult to wear yet incredibly awesome; this Ghillie jacket by Maharishi is so next level I’m pretty sure they had to make a new level for just this one piece of clothing. Constructed from Mongolian sheepskin with the long hair left well intact lets things get super crazy but ’cause it’s Maharishi it’s still somehow legit as fuck. I find it amusing that the model has a full beard, obviously because there wasn’t enough hair going on in this image. I think there’s any really appropriate occasion or setting for a piece of clothing like this, but then it doesn’t need to every be appropriate because fashion. Irregardless, it’s amazing and I want it but I wont because I can’t.


Hender Scheme will undoubtably be splitting opinions with their latest offering in their Manual Industrial Products range. They’ve gone and done a Jordan IV silhouette and you’ll either love it or hate it. If you’re the type to categorically disown this shoe you either are a complete fool who’s been blinded by the crap quality retro bullshit excuse for a shoe that Jordan Brand has been putting out for the last 5 years or you simply thing an all-flesh-toned version of a classic shoe is kinda weird and gross. Nevertheless I think they’re amazing and the amount of detail they managed to work into them with only the medium of leather (and a few cheats like foam sandwiched sole and some gum for traction) but I wont own them for spending the (undoubtably astronomical) price for a contemporary take on a shoe I have no interest in wearing is silly.

Meanwhile I’ve begun the process of wearing the fake NBs recently and shall try to document it via my newly started Instagram feed.


The PNTHA boot (to my knowledge) is the oldest model that FEIT are still making and personally I think it’s one of their best. When the last round of cork toe’d colourways came about I was a bit hesitant because of said inclusion and the colourways and materials didn’t really jive with what I wanted. Cue the email announcing a new black and most importantly this stunning Marine (navy) leather version releasing right now. This shoe, in this colour and material make me feel funny things. The resulting purge of unwanted or less important things into the online marketplace has begun as I try to build up a Paypal balance that will be fat enough with “not real money” to help me justify the understandable yet still hefty price tag. Someone buy something off me!


Stumbling onto Union’s online store late at night to a host of discounted pieces without any mailouts got me excited (how sad). Consumeristic excitement aside to see a whole host of OAMC on sale was a pretty big deal considering how much I blab about the brand being awesome to anyone within a 20 meter radius. Unfortunately nothing really crossed into the “yep” category even at a reduced price point (there’s probably something there to analyse) and instead I found myself buying a pair of yellow OFF WHITE socks and a full priced Born x Raised hoodie. The latter was white which has been a colour that I’ve been wanting to add to my wardrobe for this winter so that I can just wear one and remind myself why I don’t own any white jumpers. BxR print on Champion hoods I believe so I’m sure it’ll rock up and fit weirdly but I’ll still feel like a total badass even if I’m the least threatening person ever.

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